How many times have you been shopping for your girlfriend or partner and decide to go through the whole embarrassing excercise of picking out lingerie for them, first off you walk past the store once , casually look in to see if there is anyone in the store that you know, walk about 20 feet down to the next store which  also happens to be another womens clothing store, turn around and make your way back to the original store.

Now that you are full of confidence you walk in , pretend you are looking for someone that is already in the store , go straight to the section where the least amount of people are and start looking through the lingerie , and its at this point that generally a young nubile nymph sales assistant will walk up to you and say , excuse me sir can I help you ? “i mean how old does that make you feel” a 17 year old asking what size Thong or g string you require, is it for your wife ? or girlfriend , as if i would be telling the sales assistant the truth WTF.

Its always the same, the assistant says , what size is your partner – normally i say a size under what she actually is and then hope that she can fit into the thong when i bring it home, once that hurdle is over and ive started planning how ill present the “package”, this young nubile 17 year old says “what cup size” . How bad is that , I was only concentrating on the thong and forgetting about the bra, at this point I make a subtle suggestion that she is  around the same size as you are, normally this gets a sly smile, anyway the only thing I know about cup size is generally if i want a muggachino at my local coffee store.

The next step is choosing what colour, and this is when I show my total confidence in buying lingerie , PINK would be nice, again another quirky smile and off we go to the counter. I feel as proud as winning gold at the special olympics, “would you like it gift wrapped” – WTF of course I want it gift wrapped I have just won gold, cash or charge – whoops…. depending on who you are buying it for.

As I am on my way home, brimming with self confidence , i suddenly realise im not too sure if she likes pink… Oh well that’s life

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